I’ve been such a monster mom this morning. We’re talking weeping and gnashing of teeth before 7:30 a.m. We’re talking the misery of some bedtimes, but instead we haven’t even had breakfast. We are talking tears in the car while I tried to pray kind of bad morning. I should note the loud child kept saying I was the one who needed prayer because I was being so mean.
I could blame being up last night with the sick child, or the kid who wet the bed, or tax season. There are lots of reasons why Monster Mom showed up this morning. None of them are good enough excuses for the way I spoke to my kids. This kind of morning has the capability to ruin a week. Guilt, failure as mom, grumpy, ungrateful…the list of woes goes on and on with mornings like these.
I’ve learned NOT to wait on my feelings to change into nice appreciative ones before I approach God. It comes with practice, but it really does help. That’s why I pray out loud in front of my kids when I’m a hot mess.
I’ve learned it’s best to bring Him into the mess ASAP.
We drove in silence. I saw the girl’s paper from church Sunday. It mentioned Luke 4:2-4 when Jesus was in the wilderness being tempted by Satan to do the “wrong” thing.
God will literally use anything to reach his people. He’s faithful like that. This little sentence reminded me this bad attitude of mine was the temptation for me to sin…to scream, be mean, and use a tone and facial expression that freaked out my kids.
I failed big time this morning in the loving mom department. But because Jesus NEVER failed, I get to simply put on the love of Jesus immediately and NOT allow my feelings to ruin anymore of my day.
This is how this story helps me. I picture my morning… full of awfulness and sin. Then I remind myself of the truth. I picture how the Christ in me would have handled this morning…with love, grace, and patience. That’s what God saw this morning. He sees us through the lens of our Savior and His perfection.
This truth allowed me to ask my kids to forgive me instead of feeling guilty and like a failure all day… they screamed NO! I told them it wasn’t okay how I screamed at them and it wasn’t okay that I was so mean. We rode in some more silence.
By the time kiss and go time came (it’s on a sign before the kids get out) they were ready to forgive me and we hugged it out.
I wish I could say my mood was cured after that…it was for a few minutes….until the sick kid screamed and shouted as I tried to rub some dang hippy oils on her feet! I lost it, threw her sock at my husband and stormed out the room. I’m telling ya..not my finest morning. I needed another cry session to Jesus…another reminder of grace.
In his grace and mercy, I was going to give it another shot. I clothed myself in Christ…again…reminded myself of the truth….again. I spent a second being thankful, and I was back to being a nice mom who loved AND liked her children.
This moment of grace came just in time for her to throw up on my new bedspread:) It was fine and we snuggled through it with happy hearts.
Mommas…we have to give ourselves some grace! We have to bring Jesus in and forgive ourselves sooner on the mornings when monster momma shows up to take over! We all have it in us. But because of Jesus, we can confess and repent before our God and our kids.
Repentance means turn away from. My monster mom went away after a few tries this morning. He gives us lots and lots of do-overs.
I thought about what it was like for Jesus to never sin. He never fell into temptation. He never mistreated people, but loved perfectly. Jesus loved us enough to lay his life down for us.
My kids don’t owe me sleep. They are children. I can’t act out of anger and fatigue. It’s easy to say, that’ a natural response to exhaustion! I’d agree, but because Jesus never sinned and calls us holiness, He will supply us all we need to not sin. And when we do sin, His grace is sufficient! Crazy, right?
I’m so tired even as I write this. I’m trusting that the King of my heart will give me everything I need to continue through my day in love. I pray the same for you mommas!
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for Jesus. God help us on the days when we are monsters and fail. Help us to know the truth about who you are so we can repent and walk in grace loving our children and families well. Jesus, we can’t do this without you. Help us to receive your forgiveness and forgive ourselves quickly so that we can love well. Thank you Jesus, you are everything.