The face of Postpartum Depression

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In that picture I look like I have no cares in the world and am the most happy person you will ever meet, right? WRONG! So very wrong! I have suffered from depression for years and it gets much worse after I have babies. I had it after I had Devin, but was in denial and did not get treatment. Luckily, I was able to work through it by going back to work and being “away” for a few hours a day. After I had Makenzie though, I was not able to work through it alone. My PPD began after I had to have an appendectomy not even three weeks after giving birth via csection to Makenzie. I think it was just too much on my body. I sank into a deep depression and had panic attacks at night when my husband would leave for work. I would be fine one minute and raging mad the next. I never thought of hurting anyone thank goodness (that’s actually post partum psychosis- something much worse than PPD), but there were several times when I just couldn’t imagine how I was going to be alone in the house at night when David was at work with these five kids to be responsible for. I would have bad dreams about “forgetting” Makenzie at the mall and wake up in a panic thinking it wasn’t a dream. That’s when I knew I needed help.

I called my OB and he put me on zoloft. It has been a wonder drug. I could almost tell a difference immediately and a few weeks after being on it, David thanked me for taking it- LOL (guess he noticed a bit of a difference too) I’ve had to up the dosage once so far thanks to my body getting “used” to it- but all in all it’s been a remarkable improvement. And the best of all… zoloft is considered safe during breastfeeding so I am allowed to take it while nursing. I still have good days and bad days, but on the meds there are more good days than bad. And I’m happy to report that I no longer have weird dreams about “forgetting” Makenzie, or anyone else for that matter 😉

I’m posting this in case some of you reading this are like I used to be and are ashamed to call your DR and tell them you have PPD. I thought I had to be a supermom and be able to handle everything with grace and if I didn’t then I was a failure as a mom. I’ve since learned that I would have failed had I not gotten help. Calling my OB was very tough; admitting I had PPD was even tougher… but I’m glad I had the courage to get the help I needed. So is my family 🙂

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Visit my blog Simply Blessed for more stories about the trials, tribulations and joys of raising five children!

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The face of Postpartum Depression
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7 Comments

  1. Helene July 21, 2009
  2. Michelle July 21, 2009
  3. Grampy July 21, 2009
  4. Cascia July 21, 2009
  5. ModernMom July 22, 2009
  6. Anonymous August 3, 2009
  7. mommymuse August 12, 2009

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