The feminine is rising quickly as we move through this century. The patriachial ways of the past two thousand years did not work and so they are like giant ancient prison walls that are finally crumbling away and revealing a different way to live.
More and more people are waking up and doing something…. recycling in the home, mulching in the garden. We are reading information that makes us think…perhaps to make a different choice about things like vaccinations and GE foods. I have yet to speak to anyone who agrees that GE foods will be good for us and yet more and more of it sneaks onto the supermarket shelves.
The time has come for each gender to acknowledge, recognise, honour and work with both the feminine and the masculine in us. We all know and are familiar with the masculine side, the part of us that wants to succeed, that can lead others, that is strong and often invulnerable. This side of us has a place in this world yet how much better could the masculine qualities be when balanced with the feminine?
For centuries to be a man meant not feeling, after all, you can’t kill another person if you are really feeling can you? Even today, many men are still emotionally disenfranchised – there is almost an inaccessibility to their emotions which acts like a giant void. For men, many still have the same set of rules given to them by their father (they didn’t work then and they won’t work now). Men can’t be who they used to be, they are not sure who they are supposed to become and they have zero idea how to initiate the transformation.
Embracing the feminine can bring men face to face with some of their fears, because emotional = vulnerable. Vulnerable means to be open which means one can be wounded. If men can be affected then they can be transformed by it. The courage required to embrace the feminine in themselves proves a man’s masculinity – for only a very strong man has the strength to be vulnerable. A man recently told me a story of how he found himself sobbing at a seminar. He apologised to the facilitator who asked why. The man said: “Big boys don’t cry”. The facilitator replied: “Yes, that is true, big boys don’t cry, it takes a man to do that!”
Women on the other hand have had access to their emotions and many women respond to a lack in their men with criticism and anger. That serves to make men more wary. In women’s evolution they have learned to be strong and independent, ignoring the old dependent, security craving part and they want to stand on equal footing with men. So a woman consciously asserts her independence while unconsciously she still wants to be protected. A woman who has embraced the masculine in herself can easily honour the gifts of the masculine. The power of the feminine consciousness which has been so intrinsic to women’s own function has been almost impossible to hold in objective awareness and in truth we haven’t really wanted to deal with men’s feelings as we’ve been getting comfortable with our own. It is time for women to see the pain that is visible in many men today and recognise that if we are not assisting in the solution then we are part of the problem.
We are at the threshhold of a new paradigm in relationships. Women must do their own emotional work and take responsibility for their own deep authentic emotions. If a man knows how to change a tyre and he shows us, then we can learn. If we know how to access our emotions then perhaps we need to teach our men so that between us we can create a different world in relationships. When men are embraced by perceptions that honour them then they will be able to change. We have to make feelings a safe place. It is time to trust…. trust imagines the best outcomes, even when the past has shown discontent and disappointment, real transformation can take place for men and women. If we can accept that we have all been wounded and betrayed, that we have all inflicted wounds and been betrayers then perhaps we can create a new fabric, based on love, woven with compassion and understanding and a willingness to go the distance, and offered to us all with a sense of wholeness for the future.
I am committed to peace, I love learning and anything that make a difference to the planet. For the past 22 years this has included facilitating The Goddess Within, co facilitating Man’s Inner Journey with Robert my husband and Tantra for couples internationally.
Diane McCann http://beyondtheordinary.net.au
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