Athletes are classic examples of people who dare to lose, in their determination to win. If we consider a high jumper. A high jumper only knows that they have achieved their maximum potential when they fail to achieve that jump, and fail repeatedly. They keep on and on trying, and believing that they will succeed until they either achieve that height, only to then raise the bar, or fail and so keep on trying until they cannot try anymore.
The famous golfer, Jack Nicklaus, when asked how lucky he felt to be so successful, replied that the more he practised, the luckier he got ! This is very true. Belief, determination and motivation all feature heavily in successful peoples strategies. That, and a committment to hard work.
Many people say that we create our own luck. But the fact is, the way that we treat set backs, limitations, other peoples attitudes to us, are all very significant. Some people have at the back of their mind obstacles, limitations, other priorities or modifiers to success. So their heart and enthusiasm may not be truly in the project or challenge. In a situation like this, some questions that we need to stop and ask ourselves are, how much do I want this, what else matters in my life ? For some people saying that they tried and had a go is satisfying enough.
Some people really enjoy working hard. It defines who they are, how they spend their time. They may well have concerns that if they succeed, what will they do next. This is a not uncommon way of hi-jacking success. For these people the journey itself is more important and valuable that the destination and outcome.
Some feel that they do not deserve to succeed or be lucky. Accepting that ‘good things can and do happen to people like me’ , can be a real mindset change. Our perspective, resolve, desire and motivation all impact on the ‘luck’ and good fortune that we attract into each situation. Turning self belief and self worth around into a feeling that success and good results are deserved and earned and have been worked for, can impact in every area of life.
So much of what we do, think and feel is communicated to other people in non verbal ways. A persons feelings, attitudes and expectations are conveyed by their stance, their body language, their facial expressions. A high percentage of communication is done non verbally and this is an important factor in creating our own luck. By sending out either a positive or a negative expectation of a good result is what we are attracting back to ourselves.
Visualisation of a good result can help. See yourself as you would like to be. The outcome that you would really want. Sportspeople practice over and over in their minds to get themselves in that positive zone, where they are really feeling, experiencing as they are taking that shot successfully.
Use positive language to yourself. So many people talk to themselves more harshly than they would ever talk to another person. It is important to avoid negative self talk. Try saying reasonable rather than fantastical things to yourself. Saying things like, ‘I can do this’, ‘I am worth this’, ‘I deserve this success’, ‘I have earned this’, are all reasonable things to say that will keep ourselves focussed and on track.
And not forgetting that sometimes ‘bad’ luck can turn out to be good and vice versa. Sometimes not getting the job or the house that we wanted may turn out for the best, when something better comes along. Or, sometimes the ‘good’ luck brings with it changes in life, in unfortunate ways and end up losing more than we gain. Some lottery winners have found themselves rueing the day that they won the jackpot and sometimes people have said that being made redundant from work was the best thing that happened to them as they were forced into doing something new and different.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist