Remembering our loved ones on non-anniversaries is an important way of demonstrating that a relationship matters and is really special to us. We can communicate this in a myriad of ways and build up a strong connection and a close bond purely by regularly demonstrating that we care and are investing time and consideration into our special relationship.
Certainly in the early days of a loving relationship many people will regularly think of their new boyfriend or girlfriend and remember to buy a CD that they said they liked, or pick up tickets for a film that they wanted to see, or buy that thoughtful little gift as a treat. We think nothing of going the extra distance for them. In fact it is our pleasure to demonstrate that we care. Continuing with that initial thoughtfulness is the key to an ongoing, exciting, loving relationship. People respond well to positive treatment and their appreciation becomes a loving reward.
Showing that a person is loved and valued does not have to be expensive. In fact, often the best, most appreciated gifts are the ones that required thought and planning, rather than a lot of money being spent. They are the most valued because they were chosen with that particular person in mind.
Here are a few of my ideas for letting someone know that they matter. Feel free to add any extras of your own. Note that these are not expensive ideas , but will require some effort and time.
– The best investment in a special relationship is the quality of communications. Each person being respected, whatever they say, and not judged for it, but accepted for their point of view. Communicate openly and say how you feel. Do not expect your partner to be psychic.
– Listen to what your partner says and demonstrate that you have listened by remembering what you have been told and following it up on future occasions by asking questions, checking on what happened next.
– Run a scented bath for them. Light candles, warm the towels.
– Cook their favourite meal, from scratch, and clear up afterwards .
– Give them a massage.
– Make a collage of special pictures, times, events that you have shared.
– Compile a compact disc of ‘our’ songs and tunes
– Plan a day out, go to the beach with a picnic, or spend time visiting galleries, book shops, markets together.
– Hire some bicycles and go out for a ride.
– Enjoy a country walk. Have a drink or lunch in a quaint pub.
– Remember a film, book, show that was mentioned and organise it.
– Telephone or text just to say, ‘Hello, I love you’.
– Paint them a picture or frame a special photograph.
– Buy flowers, but not just once a year or to say ‘sorry’. Remember, men like flowers too.
All these are the special extras that can add sparkle to a loving relationship. But do not forget the day-to-day thoughtfulnesses, like collecting the dry cleaning, or helping with the school run, or the first person home in the evening starts preparing the meal. Pulling together in a relationship reinforces the closeness of the bond and helps it to grow and flourish, every day of the year.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist