People often have markers in their lives, times when they decide to make a real effort to do something positive for themselves and to change something unwanted about themselves. It may be a wedding, a birthday, even getting divorced. The event triggers a real decision to commit to a positive course of action that will bring about a change for the better.
Why not though, instead of ‘doing without’, which resolutions are often about, decide instead to ‘add in’. So that instead of giving up different things that we know are bad for us or are doing us harm, why not instead decide to commit to a schedule of positive lovely treats ? These treats will result in a good feeling of pleasure and satisfaction that will often negate the need for bad or harmful things in our life. None of these things need to cost much money, but can be really savoured and relished.
Some of my thoughts are things like:
– Clean, freshly laundered sheets. When the sheets have been changed really enjoy the thought of a good nights sleep in a fresh smelling bed. Maybe add a drop or two of lavender to the final rinse cycle when they have been washed.
– Good quality chocolate. Rather than buying several cheaper bars, buy a bar of good high end chocolate, maybe even organic, and settle down to enjoy every mouthful, really savouring the taste so that it is a proper chocolate experience.
– Bur flowers, but put them in an unexpected place, like the bathroom, so that taking a shower or getting ready in the morning is done in a more pleasant environment.
– Rather than rush from job to job at home, take time to organise things so that you can enjoy and appreciate what you have done. So, for example, after working in the garden sit in it and enjoy a drink, or after tidying the lounge relax in it and enjoy ten minutes reading a book or a newspaper.
– Catch up with friends. Make time to meet for coffee or lunch and enjoy each others company. Share your stories, exchange advice. It is important to maintain contact with friends. They are a valuable part of our support network.
– Sit when eating, especially when eating the meals that are usually rushed, like breakfast or lunch. It is good to give time to having a quiet break, even for a few minutes. It can make all the difference to the quality of the rest of the day ahead and can be worth getting up ten minutes earlier for.
– Visit an art gallery, museum or bookshop on a free afternoon.
– Look at an old photograph album. Enjoy getting nostalgic about people and events.
– Play music in the car and sing along, loudly
– Book a massage
– Girl, have a pamper session at home with friends
– Guys, have a card night or watch the match with friends
– Open the good bottle of wine for yourself, rather than the cheap one that someone brought round and no one opened
– Smile at a stranger. You may well make their day
These are just a few ideas that boost self confidence and help us feel better about ourselves. Please feel free to add your own ideas to the list. By doing good things we often find that those negative behaviours and habits often become less important, without us even trying.
Susan Leigh, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist,
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