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anxiety family moving

So We Are Moving In a Month…


I can’t believe that in 29 days we will have this tiny house all packed up and the whole family will be headed north. Goodbye Sacramento! Hello Spokane!

I am filled with a ton of emotions regarding this next step in my life. I thought it would be best to write it all down and blogging is such a great escape for me. Here I can sort everything out in writing and I a confident that I am sharing a little bit of me with good friends.

When we moved here from Wisconsin we were a family of five and used the whole team of movers for apartments. Conan was my youngest and he was only 7 months. I remember nursing him every day on the couch in the living room. He took his first steps here. Today Conan is a happy, bright and busy 3 year old.

When we first moved here Ciara had just turned two. After painting the walls with the contents of her pull up she finally mastered potty training in this house. The living room is where I spent hours with the help from the UC Davis CARE center learning how to manage my defiant, strong willed little girl. Today she is an entertaining, energetic, loving and caring four and a half year old.

In this house I created an even stronger bond with my oldest child. She was eleven years old when we moved here. I watched her blossom from a little girl into a beautiful young lady. We danced and sang to Andrew Lloyd Webber in the tiny living room. I remember playing that Scrabble card game with her on the dining room table. And of course we shared many mother, daughter conversations about boys and friends. Today she is an intelligent, kind, creative and caring 13 year old.

This is the house where I brought home my sweet baby boy. I watched him change almost overnight from a little baby into a very active toddler. I spent hours nursing him in this home. I watched him roll over for the first time on the living room floor. And I remember when he started doing the army crawl and then a month later began crawling. He took his first steps in the living room shortly after he turned one. Today he is a fun, and active little 13 month old toddler.

I remember enjoying the mild evening weather with my husband in the backyard after the kids were asleep. We spent countless evenings talking, enjoying each other’s company while enjoying a beer or small glass of wine.

Along with the fond memories living here are some not so fond memories. This house is small. My family is big and still growing. Along with more birthdays and Christmas celebrations comes more toys for the kids. I am not a big fan of possessions but when the kids get a present I can not say no.

I have anxiety issues and through the past couple of years this house has become more and more cluttered. I am not going to miss the feelings of panic and claustrophobia as the walls closed in on me when toys were scattered everywhere. I remember screaming and yelling at my kids to clean everything up. My teenage daughter would complain about having to pick up her siblings toys every day. When I am under severe anxiety and panic I don’t have the courage to do it myself. Now a good 80 percent of their toys are packed up in boxes. My anxiety level has fallen considerably.

I am not going to miss the tiny fenced in backyard. Growing up in Wisconsin my parents had an acre property and a large open backyard. I have lots of memories of running around and playing in their backyard. When your yard isn’t fenced in it you feel free and full of life. Visiting with neighbors becomes a daily occurrence during the summertime. You know who your neighbors are with an open backyard. Back when I was growing up it was common for kids to walk through backyards to get somewhere. People were trusting and friendly.

Today my four year old daughter has to communicate with the neighbor girl through slats in between the fence. I wish I could do something about this. I want her to have friends in the neighborhood but the fence is getting in our way.

The fence also increases my anxiety. I feel closed in and alone walking around in that back yard. I don’t know my neighbors because communication is nearly impossible past the fence.

I’ve heard that open back yards are just a Mid Western thing. If that is true then I am going to have to put up with a fenced in yard for a little while longer. Hopefully our yard will be bigger. Only time will tell.

As I sit here typing and watching my kids play in the quaint little living room I realize that this move is going to bring hope for my family. Thankfully the move is the least stressful since we’re using Rentco Transport Equipment Rentals. Although I am stressed I keep reminding myself that this is our new beginning. Even though we will still be living just under the poverty line our income will increase. In a few months we will welcome another member to our family. The kids will be in new schools and hopefully I will finally be able to make friends and feel somewhat at home.

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Cascia Talbert

Cascia Talbert is a devout Catholic, mother of five children, health and fitness enthusiast and positive parenting supporter. She is also the founder of the award winning online health, fitness, parenting and Christian faith magazine for moms, the Healthy Moms Magazine. She lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband, five children and one spoiled cat. Her hobbies include gardening, country music, running, and playing her flute. Check out her first book, "Taking Care of your Family's Health and Well-being, Saints to Turn to and the Catholic Faith," available anywhere books are sold.

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9 Comments

  1. Kristie September 3, 2010

    Good luck with your move! I've never been to Washington, but I hear it's beautiful and I can imagine you and your family will really like it there 🙂

  2. GranolaMom4God September 3, 2010

    So glad you blogged about this! I think the move will be GREAT for you! So excited at what God is going to be doing in the upcoming months. i am praying for you!

  3. Gran September 3, 2010

    I've lived in Seattle for ten years and I love it! Washington is a beautiful state; I traveled through Spokane on my way west, so I'm no expert. You have a lovely family.

  4. Doreen Lombardo September 4, 2010

    I've always looked at a move as a good thing. I still cherish the memories in my old homes, but a move means new things in life, usually a new job, or a bigger home or a relationship, etc. Even if one moves due to a tragic event, the move is for a good reason and it generally helps you, such as being closer to family and friends.

    I just now am going through all my old photo albums and pictures and it's wonderful looking back at some fun times my kids and I had in each of our homes.

    As for backyards, IMO, fences aren't limiting. Maybe it's because I've always had one, we had to, it's the law, we've always had a pool. Fences never stopped us from knowing the neighbors though. Don't you sit out front sometimes? I know we do. We chat with the neighbors then. Also, you can always invite them into your yard for a bbq or ask their kids to come over to play with your kids.

    Good luck to you in this new beginning. I think this will be a good thing.

  5. Corine September 4, 2010

    I love how you thought about the things that you and your kids did in that house, and of how you all grew while you were there… building good memories there; that's great!

    I also love that you are leaving CA and comeing to the Spokane area; great move! 😀 BTY… I live close by. 😀 I always thought it would be fun to have a get toether with fellow bloggers, so I'm happy to find out that at least one of my fellow bloggers will be within travel distance when I do get around to organizing that little get together. You'll be there, right? ;P

    PS I hope you love your new home. There are so many beautiful and wonderful places in this area.

    Corine

  6. Kingdom Mama September 4, 2010

    Such a sweet post! I'm praying that your move will bring all the good things He has in store:)

  7. Jo's Health Corner September 15, 2010

    I am from Sweden with lots of open spaces and it took a while to get used to California living. Small houses and small high fenced yards. I would love to live in Washington. Now I am in Texas but I would rather be somewhere where it is not as hot.

    I hope the move goes well and that you will like Washington..

  8. Cascia September 15, 2010

    Thanks for the kind comment, Jo. I am looking forward to the move. It is going to be an exciting adventure for my family and a new chapter.

  9. Diana - FreeStyleMama September 16, 2010

    Good luck with the move!