By Susan Leigh
As children we learn the importance of co-existing with others, relying on them to sustain life itself. It’s crucial to a child’s survival that it receives attention, shares food, shelter, satisfies its emotional needs.
As we get older our relationships become more complex. We develop friendships, intimate relationships, form relationships based on good manners, necessity, co-operation. Often we may notice patterns as to how we relate to others that evolve over time.
We may be afraid of confrontation and avoid it at all costs, we may have lived in an environment of disapproval where others were perceived as better, more important than us and as a consequence we spend our time trying to win people over, or else shun close relationships in order to avoid disappointment.
Hypnotherapy can be an effective way of dealing with outdated, unhelpful patterns in relationships, help us to become more assertive and confident in order to improve and enjoy better relationships with others.
Let’s look at some practical ways to improve your relationships and help you feel luckier in love:
– Partners and lovers may start to feel neglected, especially in the midst of lives full of regular activities and the emotional pull of children, work, friends. It’s easy to take good relationships for granted, put them to one side and attend to the more demanding relationships in our lives, but it’s equally important to allow regular time for our special someone, enjoy each other’s company, share stories, have fun together, nurture the relationship and commit to making it an important, strong and secure part of your emotional support.
We all need to feel special to our partner in order to be able to trust the relationship, relax and be ourselves. Celebrating special occasions like anniversaries, Valentines Day may seem a little cliched but it does provide an opportunity to stop and enjoy each other’s company. Even something simple like a shared take-away supper and a film can demonstrate that you want to spend time together whilst also providing a pleasant interlude.
– Improving your relationships with friends means making time and investing in the people who genuinely care, the ones who are supportive, honest and loyal. Demonstrating commitment to true friends makes those relationships luckier and more successful.
Some people can be kept in our lives, perceived as friends, maintained out of habit. Letting go of old, outgrown relationships, clearing out the negative people from our lives can be a valuable exercise and free up more time for the people who are fun, important, special to us.
Honesty is the mark of a true friend, being respectful of each other’s hopes, dreams and feelings whilst at the same time not simply saying what you think they want to hear and paying lip service to a situation. At times there may be a need to have a difficult conversation with a friend because you care enough to say what needs to be said.
Sometimes it can be important to cultivate friends in several areas of life so that you don’t rely too heavily on one group of people for all your needs. Different groups of friends often bring a myriad of interests, opportunities and variety into your life.
– Work colleagues are often the people we spend most time with and yet can sometimes be the most difficult of our relationships. Conflict, confrontation, jealousy, favouritism can all rear their head at times in working relationships. Remaining polite, keeping our own counsel and being discrete can be an important commitment in enabling those relationships to stay as positive as possible.
relationships with others requires a complexity of important skills; tact, affection, good humour and effective communication are all crucial inter-personal skills that bring much fulfillment into our lives. And the more rounded these skills are, the luckier are relationships become.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health
and motivation levels of individuals and teams.
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