I want you write down all the negative things you say about yourself. Then, I want you to write down the things you didn’t want to put down on the list.
These were the instructions I gave to a friend one afternoon. I would be stopping by her house in three days so she could stand in front of me and read the list to me. Tears ran down my cheeks and down hers as she read the cruel things she believed and said to herself on a regular basis. She has been listening to lies.
You are a failure. You are not good enough. All you have ever wanted is to be a mom and you are screwing it up/failing. So, what is the point?
You have nothing important to say. Your opinion doesn’t matter. You are so dumb. You aren’t pretty. I can’t believe you don’t want to spend more time with your kids. You kids don’t need you. Your kids hate you. You are a mean mom.
You aren’t fulfilling your husband’s needs. I wouldn’t be surprised if he looked elsewhere.
Why can’t you get them to behave?
Not freak out?
You have no control over them.
They are all looking at you. You aren’t dressed well enough to fit in. Why can’t you be more like that mom…More fun? More loving? More patient?
They are all going to judge you.
You don’t belong here. You’re a fake…they know you don’t have as much money as them.
You are boring. You try so hard to fit in but you can’t get it right.
You are just letting time pass you by. You are missing out. Why are you so emotional?
You are forgettable.
Why are you here? What are you doing? What’s the point.
“Would you ever say these words to another human being?” I asked. She quickly said, “ No, these are horrible things to say about a person.” I asked her why in the world she thinks it is okay to say these things to herself, a daughter of God.
In the Beatitudes, Jesus says , “ Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.” You read in multiple places in Scripture that God desires mercy not sacrifice. Extending mercy is a BIG deal to Jesus, but women tend to withhold mercy from ourselves and be cruel instead. It’s a weightier matter of the heart.
This is a sweet, Jesus loving girl who is kind and loving to all around her, yet; she does NOT extend mercy to herself. That is NOT okay! It’s time women expose the imposter that whispers these lies to us so that we can STOP being so cruel to ourselves.
It’s easy to overlook self cruelty as a small issue because you aren’t hurting anybody. If I was crying listening to this list, how do think God feels when we are cruel to His daughters.
It’s time to expose the lie that is keeping you from walking in and being able to extend mercy.
So what’s on your list? What cruel things do you say to yourself? There is an impostor who is whispering those lies to you keeping you from walking in the grace and freedom God desires for your life.
Once you expose your lies you must fill it with truth! Those truths are God not only loves you, but He LIKES you! He thought of you before you born. You have such purpose. You have a voice! Say it over and over until you believe it. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
He designed you uniquely to show the world something about Him that ONLY you can do!
My friend was angry after she read this list to me. The mask had been removed from the liar in her head and she was no longer a person who would believe these were her truths. Amen to that!
Multiple times she asked the question “What is the point?”
The point for the believer is and has always been Jesus. We must learn how to separate truth from lie in our thoughts so that we never forget Jesus is the point. As we continue to seek Him, and walk in His ways, the “point” will become more and more obvious.
There is lasting joy living a life for Jesus. I pray today is the day you expose the imposter in your thoughts. I pray you come out of hiding behind the insecurities that keep you from walking in freedom and grace.
Dear heavenly Father,
Thank you for the mercy we receive in Jesus. Help us Father to hear the truth that allows us to expose the lies we believe about ourselves. Jesus, put people and things in our lives that remind us of your perfect love for us. You are everything God, so help us to learn to walk in your ways and receive the perfect loves that comes with following you.
In your perfect and Holy name,