If there’s one thing healthy moms need these days, it’s grace. It’s not more busyness. It’s not more pressure. And it’s certainly not perfectionism. In fact, these qualities are at the center the resolutions moms should not make in 2020. They are usually defeating, increase stress, and have a negative impact on health (1).
Don’t get me wrong.
It’s great to identify areas of our lives in which we are passionate and get better at these if we’d like. When we get a “big picture” mentality at the beginning of the year and make a plan to accomplish what’s on our hearts, that’s great.
But, it’s also important to surround each of them with grace. God is not asking us to do more or get better. He’s asking us to accept His grace.
As you make (great) resolutions this year, watch out for the pitfalls listed below. Pray and look to God for direction. Surround your list (if you have one) with grace.
5 Resolutions Moms Should Not Make in 2020
1. Create “Perfect Childhoods” for My Children
This may be a modern problem. Whether it’s due to Instagram, Facebook, and/or Pinterest, moms are putting a lot of pressure on themselves to create a sort of perfect childhood, full of magic and memories, for their children. This is one of the resolutions moms should not make.
Childhood memories can certainly be great and last a lifetime. But, most of the great ones are not of a perfect birthday party or fairyland bedroom, but of time spent together. And most, aren’t actually perfect.
Childhood is magical when a child is secure in the love his parents have for him. Then, he (or she) can grow and have the confidence to make magic.
A good resolution may be to be more present with kids by getting off of some social media, to show your spouse more kindness and love (yes, even for the sake of your kids) or to read or play games more together. It’s okay to let go of the magic and focus on the “together.”
2. Homemade Meal Every Night
I am the first to tell you that the biggest threat to health in terms of nutrition, is processed foods (2). So, homemade meals are important.
But, don’t let this resolution become too strict. No once can do it night after night.
We all need help, and we all need tricks.
Some of my favorites tricks are to set a flexible “meal pattern” each week (Mondays = burgers, Tuesdays = Mexican, Wednesdays = Asian), using a Rotisserie chicken mid-week for a night off, and making double batches.
Another great option is to make one of your daily meals a Keto Zone Shake – this can really free up time for dinner meal preparation.
3. I’ll Go to the Gym Every Day
Again, it’s wonderful to work toward being fitter and healthier. But again, the problem with this goal is being too strict about time or place that it becomes frustrating and impossible. Here are a few tips:
- Aim for working out 4 days per week.
- Find activities you truly enjoy.
- Find a workout buddy who you enjoy spending time with.
- Be flexible with the place. If getting to the gym is a barrier for you, consider at-home workouts, running or walking from home, hiking with a baby carrier, etc. There are many great apps and websites that offer at-home options.
The key is to form a workout plan that is actually workable for you, so you can make it a lifestyle that sticks.
4. Have a Perfect House
We all see the perfect homes online. These are fake.
Either these are staged rooms, or they are rooms that are clean for a photo but don’t look perfect all the time. If you have kids, you can manage the clutter and the grime with regular cleaning. But, a “perfect” house is not reasonable.
Instead, focus on a healthy, comfortable home. For many, this means a reasonable amount of cleanliness, but with the focus of nourishing the minds and bodies of their family, not magazine photos.
Clutter really does increase stress, so it’s still worthwhile to fight the clutter. But, don’t strap yourself down to perfection.
5. Never Yell, Raise My Voice, or Be Angry with My Children
Kids are some of our greatest blessings, and truly gifts from God.
And, sometimes kids are frustrating. Whether it’s asking that they get their shoes on nineteen times, or seeing a huge mess right after you’ve cleaned up, or talking back, sometimes we get angry at our children.
One of the best solutions to combat a quick temper and yelling is simply to spend time with God and stay in His Word. When you have peace in your soul, it’s much easier to keep the peace with your children. But, you’ll still get angry.
You will likely raise your voice or yell in 2020.
Plan on it. Apologize if needed and let your kids know what frustrated you, and also that you’re not perfect. And, give yourself grace, momma.
Have New Year’s Resolutions? Great! Make sure they don’t require perfection. This is our list of New Year’s Resolutions moms should not make in 2020, mostly because they are born out of perfectionism and comparison. Instead, focus on healthy bodies, healthy spirits, and healthy minds, with a huge dose of grace.